Spiderella

  Very fun to see all the costumes and to enjoy giving out chocolate.  I am hoping tonight will be the baby's debut, but it's not really happening.  I'm not holding my breath, but I am ready for it.  I'd love to have a Halloween baby.  Watching 30 Rock is a good time.  Oh, the big belly of it all.  Hah, G'night.

Pumpkin Carving Fun Last Night

Tony's handiwork

Scary

Eerie

  Oh so good to see these pumpkins light up the room.  I am such a fan.  I did get to help the girls (Cece & Bella) to carve their concrete-like little "pie pumpkins." It is good to spend some quality time with the girls, despite the reason why was that Tony and Nikki had to go into the office for an emergency.  He got called in from the hospital, from his father.  I am so glad we got to get pumpkins for this Halloween because I was not sure that we would get the chance being potentially in the hospital or occupied with a newborn.  Now it looks like we will be dressing up and handing out candy.  I have put up no decorations, but I can whip something up tomorrow.  I have all day and it is supposed to be nicer tomorrow.  Mid to upper 40's is considered nicer to me as it is 29 degrees right now.  

    39 weeks along and I really never fathomed I would make it to 40 weeks let along surpass it.  I am not happy about that, not fearful, but the safer version for my baby would be to have them before they get too big and the placenta does not get calcified.  I have had enough emotion around this week.  Now, I know that time is irrelevant in that I will not remember the waiting or days before I gave birth, it will be the big day and days after that will be burned into my mind.  It really does not matter when the baby comes, it will be their own special day.

  I finished The Four Agreements book.  I wish I had this book when I was 18 years old.  I really think it is a book I would have read and re-read to get a different perspective and meaning each time I read it.  I am going to send this to my niece who is 18 and make her read it.  I will expect a report after she reads it to see what her perspective is at this time.  I know you cannot make someone self evaluate and she may hate it and not want to read it.  I just want to share what knowledge I can to help her save precious time in life that I wasted lamenting and torturing myself rather than being myself and living life the way I want to.  Being true to myself and not taking everything so personally when no one else cares or notices.  They are not perceptive or observant about anyone, but themselves.  I am pleased that I read this book and will be reading it again in the future.

  What is on the agenda for today?  I have to pack something to ship for Amazon.com, get Halloween costume and decorations out and make some food.  I hope to watch the latest Transformers movie, which will be torturous as it has very little plot and disjointed music so far in the first 20 minutes.  I'm sure this will not be as good as St. Louis coming back in the series and winning the World Series this year.  Amazing.  I made squash, pumpkin, spinach soup homemade.  It was filling, just enough spice and heat and had a good texture.  Very pleased.  I like that there is left overs for tomorrow too.

Cannot Concentrate

  I cannot get anything done.  I cannot concentrate.  I am so focused on going into labor that I cannot accomplish anything else these days.  How I want to predict when this baby will arrive.  I have gotten great amounts done, but everywhere I go everyone just says, "So, I was wondering if you had your baby yet." It makes me not want to leave the house.  That and I do not want to be in public or driving myself around when I do go into labor.

Harry Potter and the power of positive thinking

  Watching the final game of the World Series.  Boy they made it an exciting one yesterday.  St. Louis may pull it out as they have been leading most of the game.  Interesting and I am interested to see if this game can be exciting too.  Going out with a bang would be fun.

  No snow/rain today.  The highest temperature on the weather channel was 49 degrees.  I basically slept the day away.  Tony got me Arbys dinner and spoiled me with a turnover and Twix.  Ugh.

  Trying to scan in documents to finish the land division for the Stanton land.  I can do it tomorrow if I do not accomplish it tonight as it seems this baby is not coming tonight.  I should finish watching the Green Hornet after I just finished watching the premiere of Grimm.  I liked it.

Oh So Close, & Yet So Far

  I went into the hospital tonight and my contractions were from 2-6 minutes a part.  I am not dilating further at this point.  I am ready for this to progress, but being sent home I am going to try to sleep just in case the painful contractions wake me up tonight.  All the advice I've heard is to get the sleep as much as possible so this is what my plan is.

  The baby is SO low now.  Also, the baby is moving and pushing my belly to the extreme, to the point I jump from the surprise, pain and how powerful these punches and kicks are.  Very fun, but crazy too.  If he wants to play so badly, just come on out into the world already.  Wow, I'm impressed at the power of this child.  So strong and having a mind of his own already.  I think I see an athlete in the future.

  We were late to Tony's family birthday dinner.  I wish we could have foreseen how this would go, but it worked out.  He got his hamburger dinner with 3 bean salad and tuna salad.  He got his chocolate layer cake with whipped cream and frosting trifle.  It was great that everyone came and waited as long as they could for us before digging in to eat.  Glad they could get the party started without us so they did not have to wait until we could make it.  He got a variety of presents ranging from Star Wars, camping, towing cable, and the grammar police.  We had to go home because my right leg was tingling numb from being swollen.  I needed to get my pressure socks on at home.

  Interesting potentially last world series game.  I do not care who wins, Texas or St. Louis, but they are making it interesting at the end here.  Texas right fielder not finding the wall to catch the ball and allowing a triple with 2 on base already to tie the game in the bottom of the 9th inning, unreal.  These ticket holders are getting their money's worth tonight.  Top of the 10th inning, Texas gets a single and then a home run back to back batters.  Impressive.

  Project Runway Anja won.  Another print loving collection to win 2 years in a row.  Someone who cannot sew, to win is shocking, but also tells you some things can be taught, like sewing, and some things cannot, like style and grace under pressure.  This is the sign of a winner, the unteachable aspects of a person and learning the teachable features of what you want to do.

Happy Birthday Tony

  So this day is still only Tony's birthday and not shared with the baby.  This morning I thought the game was on and I would be in the hospital by lunch time.  Of course the contractions and dilation did not translate into progression.  It seems that if it's going to happen, it will be at night or wake me up.  That seems to be the trend.  The baby is going crazy with moving fun right not.  The most they've moved all day.  I love that feeling.  Bitter sweet for it to end.

  I got a whole bunch of nothing done today.  I did drink my Raspberry tea.  I did not finish reading the Four Agreements book.  Almost.  I am loving the prospect that I have no idea when this will happen.  Tomorrow I am going to check on what I need to do to make more real estate deals happen.  I hope I have the energy and focus to do so.  I want to go in first thing in the morning until my replacement can make it.  Oh, the indigestion is killing me right now.  And yet I am hungry.  My stomach feels strangely empty these days.

  Tony's birthday today, he got French Silk pie for dessert.  He went and got his own dinner though.  He made no requests for a homemade meal for tonight.  He got his presents and I am always satisfied when I can surprise him.  That is fun.  I wanted to make his birthday better, but no baby as a present.  This baby has a mind of it's own, obviously.  Tony deserves a better birthday, but he is so laid back and low key he is not picky or high fangled.  Good guy.
 
  We watched X Men First Class.  This too long movie was actually good.  I liked the plot and effects.  They cast pretty well.  Especially for Xavier and Magneto.  Tony rented 5 new movies.  As we have not been to a movie in so long, this will give us the opportunity to catch up as I am too antsy to focus these days.  I suspended our Netflix account as they upped the cost and we no longer get DVDs from them anymore.  Tomorrow night  we celebrate Tony's birthday with his family.  We will not squeeze in a movie as it's good TV night.  Not bad out today.  The temperature was 47 degrees.  Tonight is supposed to be snow/rain mix that leads into tomorrow.

Cold & Errand Filled Today

  I think 43 degrees would be fine if there was no cold wind to go with it.  Not too bad, we made it this far into October without any white stuff flying in the air.  That is supposed to be remedied in 2 days.  I hope for the kids' sake that Halloween is at least not a wet & cold day.  I am still unsure if I will be dressing up and handing out candy, or if I will be in the hospital or pre-occupied with a newborn that day.  Oh, this baby.

  Good doctor's appointment today though.  I found out I am 1.5 cm dilated!  YAY.  So happy to know all this contracting is making some kind of progress.  I was afraid I would have no progress at all.  I will take it.  The baby has been the most active today than in the last 9 days as my belly has "relaxed" the most today.  I am going to go get some Raspberry tea to get things moving again.  I was not sure the tea helped, but now I am more of a believer.

  I had a nursing student at my appointment that was also at our child birth class at Aspirus.  He is a father of four.  When laying back to determine the position of the baby, I became hot, sweating and thought I might pass out.  I sat up and drank some water.  I felt better and they quickly measured the fundus and assured me the position is the baby's head is down and the bum is under my ribs on the mid-right side.  I am thankful to be nearing the end as the swelling is just difficult.  Especially when the numbness and swelling wakes me up at night with painful joints to bend my fingers and my poor right index finger that will never be right again after being reconstructed through surgery.

  I went to stretch at Curves today, found out my bank card does not work, sent Taylor her 18th birthday present in the mail, got Tony a French Silk Pie from Perkins for his birthday tomorrow and picked up a present from Northwoods for him after my doctor's appointment.  I hope to make our intimate birthday celebration good tomorrow.  Likely we will have to go out to dinner depending on what he wants to eat. I do not know how much cooking I will be up for tomorrow.  OK baby, not tomorrow.  Tonight or the next day fine.  Not tomorrow.

  I want to pick up apples from the yard today as I know if I do not, no one else will pick them up and they will stay there for the duration of winter.  I also need to make returns to Amazon also.  I know I have hours, or a few days at best before I will be house ridden, tired and pre-occupied.  I know this baby will be a big one.  They made no guesstimate today as they were quick at the end to get me out of there.  What a great time of year for this.  I am grateful I will not be largely pregnant during winter.  I cannot imagine having to put anything but slip-on shoes at this point, let alone boots.  No heavy coats around my large belly either.

  Love that the Deathly Hallows Part I is playing all the time on HBO these days.  I keep getting to watch at the same parts, but today I started watching earlier on than usual.  So good.  Harry Potter is in the top 3 of book and movie series of all time.  Harry Potter is great for so many reasons.  I could go on and on, but I will stop with that.  I think they should make a cartoon that is a series like they did for the in-between times of the Star Wars movies, only they should follow the books to the word.  This would be more inexpensive than making sets or paying actors.  That would be awesome and worthy of making more money in the future for them.  Food for thought Pixar!

Nov. 3rd Is Likely

  I think I will be lucky if this baby comes by Nov. 3rd as I had no painful contractions last night, but even laying down I have constant tight belly today.  So strange how things "progress." I am ready to just accept whatever the schedule goes for this baby.  I cannot effect it apparently, but I am ok with taking that hint.  Praying not to go 2 weeks late, does not mean much, so I will go back to just praying for safe and smooth labor whenever it does come.  Optimism what it is, I just want a healthy baby.

  A whole bunch of nothing going on today.  We finally closed the deal on the land in Stanton Township for building a garage.  I did not have to go to the closing and I am especially glad I did not go.  I knew the seller would say something inflammatory that would get me all riled up.  Of course, he did say something like that and I happily did not have to deal with it.  So great.  I am feeling anxiety, frustration, angsty, optimistic and swollen.  I am in need of another massage, but we were so sure that I would be not pregnant anymore she would not schedule me.  Sad.  I went about my business today, taking the recyclables back, getting the check for the land deal, dishes, made saucy chicken for dinner, stretched at Curves and did some laundry.

  To top it off, I called my acupuncturist to come "help things along" today and she did not even call me back.  I bet she was busy and got to spend some quality time with her family.  I do not blame her for wanting her time off from work.  It is selfish of me to want to get labor going earlier than 40 weeks anyway.  I am 39 weeks on Wednesday.  I thought for sure I would be 2 weeks early.  I want my baby to have their own day and for Tony not to have to share.  The trend of Tony's friends is to have the baby one day after the father's birthday.  Who am I to buck the trend?  Oh well.

  I got to watch the movie Bridesmaids today.  What a major disappointment.  The 4 scenes Jon Hamm was in were the most funny in the entire movie.  They should have had him be a primary character.  I have not watched many movies lately and for good reason it seems.  There are not many good movies worth my time out there anymore.  Even TV is a stretch for me as I have no focus anymore.  Cue kicks to the ribs and push to the bladder at the same time, indicating a good stretch, i.e. getting too big for the space.  OK, I was being selfish and did not want to give birth to a 9 or 10 lb. baby as I believe I have a big baby in there right now.  No matter, I can do it.

Another Good Day

  Went for a half hour walk just now.  It felt good to be outside.  Glad I took my umbrella, nice temperature despite the clouds and rain.  It is about 54 degrees and wonderful.  The forecast is some snow later this week.  Of course in time for Halloween.  Only looking out the window will we be sure whether the weather people got it right or not.  They usually do not, but large fronts you cannot deny, so we will wait for it.

  I asked the Magic 8 ball online today if I was going to have my baby today.  The ball said yes.  Now I just have to let it happen.  Heh, I wish it worked that way.  This baby held on so that he could be a Scorpio like his parents.  Smart and already strong minded child.  

http://www.horoscope.com/horoscope/genie/magic8ball.aspx?Af=1000&glo=12

  

  Tony is working on installing a 2 paned window he made for the living room to help with the heat loss before winter comes.  I am too amped up to watch T.V.  There is nothing good on anyway.  I played some rounds of Halloween Hangman until my heart was content.  I just have to work on dinner here pretty soon.  I had to reset the internet again as we had a large power flicker today.  I do not like brown outs, but I like black outs even less.  I am loving "The Four Agreements" book:  

BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORDS

Speak with integrity.  Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.  Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY

Nothing others do is because of you.  What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.  When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be a victim of needless suffering.

DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS

Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want.  Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement you can completely transform your life.

ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST

Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick.  Under any circumstance, simply do your best and you will avoid self-judgement, self abuse and regret.

I feel like nothing but having this baby.  Too distracted to focus on anything else.  Will someone come over and rub my feet, massage my shoulders and make dinner please?

I Felt Like Doing Nothing Today

  So I did just that today, nothing.  I made it to the office to do what I had to do to close on Monday.  I went and got salty and fatty lunch.  Read some of "The Four Agreements."  Watched Die Hard with Bruce Willis. Took a nap. Watched Clue while eating dinner.  Had Tony bring me Vanilla Torani and club soda for Italian sodas.  Delicious.

  My belly is so hard on and off with twinges of pain but no longstanding or progressing contractions yet.  They seem to come at evening so I'm waiting.  As much as I feel that today is a good day, it does not seem to be today either.  Tony is working on a second pane for the living room window before winter comes.  Will he finish today, that is not looking like it will be so either.  Oh well.  Nothing doing today.  I hope that my expectations are rewarded when the baby deems this miracle to be worthy.  Fingers crossed not on Tony's day.

  I am too on high alert and anticipating for me to relax and focus on completing any task.  I wonder if that is why I'm not contracting toward labor.  Oh, the theories that I can come up with.  Forget about it.  I am so glad the week of shutting off the water is over.  That does not mean we will not get another notice in the mail for next week as their equipment is still parked on the road down the street and they have not complete their work yet.  They can do whatever they want.  What is in store for tonight?  No good TV and no good sleep I bet.  I wish I had energy to do something, well, and the focus.  I will concentrate on breathing for now.  Just breathing.

Oh, Good Dinner, Cold Sets In

  Got my massage today and I was so in need.  My lower back is still tender to touch and my hips are so tight and shifting.  My neck is not liking the angle that I have to sleep in.  Soon I will not have to worry about that.  I went to Curves after and stretched, but I cannot properly stretch my low back.  Happily, my low back does not hurt otherwise.  Strange to me how that is.

  The office was filled with the ridiculous deal we are working though for Stanton land.  I will never deal with this seller again and if I never see him again I will be happy.  Such a shady character that reneges on agreements.  Worse than a car salesman or any shady negotiator you can think of.  I am so ready to be done.  Sick of it!  Herding cats, herding cats, herding cats, arghhhhh.

  Got a cat nap in after not sleeping much last night.  At least it was refreshing enough to go out to dinner.  I love the Michigan house despite having indigestion to everything, even water, these days.  I cannot believe that the burning in my chest will not go away and it does not matter what I eat or drink.  I wanted dessert badly, but I only ate half my meal anyway.  Lunch for tomorrow.  The temperature went from 46 driving to dinner to 35 degrees on the way back home.  It is supposed to be 50's tomorrow.  Sweet.

Pink Lady, my favorite

  Stopped at Pat's Foods to get baked goods and apples.  Mmm... I love Pink Lady apples.  So bitter sweet. Love it.  I thought they were out of season.  I had contractions or really sharp pain on the lower part of my belly getting in and out of the Suburban.  After dinner the contractions got sharp and longer lasting, but not shorter in duration.  They would last from 5-15 minutes then subside and start back up. Now there is painless contractions in the middle of my belly for minutes at a time.  Who knows if I will be able to sleep.  I am going to try.  I have to get sleep in while I can.  Any day now.

Not Today & Thursday TV

  The baby has definitely dropped.  Oh, this baby is picking when he's coming.  I am going to ask my acupuncturist to come on Monday after the proposed closing for the property.  I will go anytime the baby is ready, just not for 3 more weeks.  It is time to avoid Tony's birthday, Halloween and the crazy days of the new moon.  Over the weekend would be nice as then Tony could be with me and have extra time to reschedule appointments for patients.

New Moon

  Oh the indigestion from even just water or raspberry tea.  The pressure socks are not really sexy, but real functional and necessary today.  Tight focal points of sharp pain for 5-10 minutes here and there after 2 hours of sharp cramping contractions from my back to belly last night.  Tightness is constant all day, but the baby seems to be getting stronger because he is kicking through the tightness now.  Whole elbows and feet are visible.  Sometimes the baby moves quickly and forcefully and the belly makes a clicking noise.  It is disconcerting as I do not know what would cause that sound.  I hope it is not harmful.  Tony heard it one time, so I was not imagining it.  Silly kicker.  I love the movement, it is so soothing and relaxing to me.  I do not like the tightness that prevents the movement and makes me nervous the baby is being squished too much.  I know, I know, I should not worry about it.  I am a worrier anyway, but this is only the beginning of the worrying. My aunt Florence has lived until 99 as a worrier.  It cannot be all bad.

  A funny The Office episode this week.  Grey's Anatomy is getting lame.  Project Runway is iffy.  The Vampire Diaries is getting strange and unexpected.  Not sure if I like it.  The Secret Circle is not that good. These are the Thursday shows.  I want to catch up on my Dexter.  Now, with the indigestion, I will probably not get to lay down for a while. I did get a nap after leaving the office today.  I like sleeping, but I wake with double sausages for fingers with numbness and muscle spasms.  My left low back is acutely painful to palpation.  Strange how the pain is just one sided.  The sweating from being a heater and smelling differently than before.  Always smelly from the heater inside me. Why does this baby like his butt right underneath my ribs instead of sinking into the birth canal for me?  Come on baby.  You can come tonight if you like...

  What to choose as a middle name or a name period.  We cannot choose particularly until we see him, but still we cannot choose outright on a dry run.  Tony is open to whatever, but I cannot decide myself.  I feel we have limited ourselves too much.  No sense in wondering, but I am not leaving the hospital without naming him.  They will not let that happen anyway.

  Kaitlin interviewed me for a nursing project today.  I felt bad taking so long and monopolizing her time.  I am pretty sure I over shared, but she got a thorough picture of where I am and how much has changed in the recent past for me.  I am sure she would not have had a clue, like most people, about the difficulties the last few years have been.  Now, with this blessing of a baby, not all problems are solved, but life moves on and I chose to be positive and not dwell anymore.  I am more peaceful and less stressed than before.  I am happy to take on this "challenge" and life change.  So many life changers in the last 3 years, this one will not hurt the trend.  Hope I did not scare her.  She could be a future in-law.  Poor thing.  They make a good couple, but they are so young.  No life experience yet.  I know I grew up too fast, not everyone had to have that kind of childhood.  Lucky her.  Hope she likes being a nurse.  It's all about dealing with people, small office politics and being on your feet to try and help everyone.

The Doctor Says

  The doctor says no dice today.  I am so swollen!  Despite the cool temps, I cannot shake the swelling.  My belly is still getting so hard.  My contractions are sporadic but persistent and painless overall.  The baby dropped down more today, but not enough to break my water.  I'm hoping for tomorrow. Fingers crossed.  So happy if I could make that happen.  My fear is that I will not go into labor until next week.  I really do not want to make that extended date.  I am going to bed to wake for the office tomorrow.

38 weeks along  

  The nesting has made the house so clean.  I love how that feels.  Now, it feels like a guest is coming, but it is more like a new member of the family will be moving in.  So fun.  I am ready to sleep.  So tired.  I watched The Sea Wolf.  I guess I need to read the book to figure out if I like it or not because it was not all that great.  Strange plot and script.  I sent back the Fibromyalgia book that I had for a year finally.  I went ahead and read it, but I ordered my own copy so I can refer to it in the future as I like.  I have one more book to complete prior to baby coming.  I will hit that book hard tomorrow.

  Weather is to be windy, snow/rain, cloudy tomorrow.  I hope that I can come home after the office and read, sleep and go into labor!  Not much else on the to do list for tomorrow.  Especially now I know they have once a month curb side pick-up of recyclables so I can save a trip and not load the recyclables in the rain and cold tomorrow.  Forty-five degrees today and it will dip into the thirties again tonight.  Not bad.

  Forty-eight exotic animals got released prior to a man committing suicide in Ohio today.  It was like right out of the 12 Monkey's movies with a roadside sign saying to beware exotic animals on the loose, lock your doors.  Crazy and horrible to think a contagion will soon be released to end humanity as we know it, as per the movie plot.  Oh, goodness.  There are 10 frozen cable channels right now.  Two of which I wanted to watch right now, but it's better off the way it is.  I have to go to bed anyway.  Time to floss and brush.  Sleep tight.

OK, A Little Bit

  OK, so I woke feeling twinges of possibly dilation.  Also, I am having something equivalent to menstrual cramps.  I have my bags packed and I am ready to do whatever has to happen.  Hmm...

Nothing doing today.  I hope to wait until Friday now.  C'mon baby.

The Real Deal and Goodies

  Today I got the gift of "Pee-Pee Teepees."  I am interested to see if they work and if I can make more if I need some in the future.  How funny.  Anything to make diapering a baby boy easier is welcomed at this point.

  I got a glimpse today into the "real deal" contractions.  It took me by surprise, like I knew it would.  A quick contraction that was strong, radiating and gave me pause.  I have also had focal tightening of my belly as well as hours long tightening.  Nothing painful, like the one time that I had.  It seems to be progressing though.  I also had a twinge this morning that I would interpret as dilation.  This made me nervous as Tony went out to the property, without cell phone service, to see the up to 18 feet waves because of the tremendous wind.  My doctor's appointment is not until Wednesday so I will see then.  We will see what today brings.  I am having on and off tightening right now.  Every few minutes.

  Today I cleaned out the entire refrigerator, the microwave and finished what remaining baby clothes and related laundry that I had left to do.  I paid bills, got dinner, went to the office, visited my in-laws, read another book, covered the changing pad and problem solved for some unfinished business.  I got my tags for the vehicles taken care of.  Tomorrow is car insurance payment.  I sent my last check to the newspaper subscription.  For one year it is $156!  That seems so pricey to me.  Crazy.  We got a new TV remote control today as the most used button on the poor, frequently dropped thing, stopped working.  As the water will be off, tomorrow is lots of office time.  It is good for me, only if my water does not break that is.  I still want to be able to drive.

  Judging by my crabbiness, the baby is coming soon.  Today would be good, but Thursday would be better. Heh heh hehhhhhh.  Oh, I am such a planner.  If only.  I just want to get a few more things completed first.  I am so close.

Wind Can Stop Now, No Water During The Day

  The wind can stop now.  It has been such crazy sustained winds (35 mph sustained with 50 mph at the shoreline).  Our house is so loud with the wind.  The windows are moving, the whole house seems to sway sometimes.  What a ridiculous and continuous storm.  We should go out to the property tomorrow to check out the waves and visit the Jacksons, especially before the baby comes.  I do not mind the rain or cold.  Just make the wind cease and I will be pleased.  Who knows how I am going to sleep with all that racket tonight.

A Fall wind

  We are going to be without running water from ~8:30 A.M. to 4:30 P.M. from today until Friday.  How inconvenient and unnecessary.  I hope I do not go into labor as I had planned on taking a hot sitz bath or shower if I started the early stages, without my water breaking.  Even just drinking water, I am filling pitchers tonight, but I will likely have to go into the office for bathroom use.

  I changed my mind and plan on my costume this year.  I am being a scary Frankenstein-like bride for Halloween with a white painted face and black streaks across my face.  I will wear a black wig or spray my hair black with a white streak going through it.  White eye make-up with black eye liner with black lips to boot.  I am going to have Tony carve the pumpkin as I can no longer do so because of my thoracic outlet and carpal tunnel problems.  He does such a good job anyway.

  Lots to do today.  I hope to accomplish all on my list.  I hope to muster the energy as well.  I read 2 books today (The Girlfriend's guide to pregnancy & the Womanly Art of Breast Feeding) and scanned a third (What To Expect The First Year).  I got all the laundry done and moved on to keeping the kitchen cleared and put the dishes away.  I had so much candy today I thought I would get sick.  My stomach is so small I can only eat small bits of anything at one time.  Even drinking a whole glass of water makes me not be able to lay back in the potential that I could have my stomach contents come up on me.  Ugh.  I am ready for the swelling to go away.  It is time to turn off the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part I movie and go to bed.

Halloween Fever Is Setting In

  I love Halloween.  I love remembering the candy I used to get in my pillow case when trick or treating.  The "candy cigarettes," Nerds, Pixy stix, Twix, Popcorn balls (did  not like), etc. Good memories of dressing up and going around the neighborhoods into the night until I could not hold up my bag anymore or I got tired and had to walk back home.  Sweet.

Used to be called "candy cigarettes" now candy sticks

  I plan on painting my belly with a pumpkin face and orange color.  My face will be green for the stalk.  I am determined to dress up.  I had SO much fun throwing the cookie decorating party last year.  I wish I could reliably throw one this year, but I can count on next year.  How fun that will be with a little one of my own.  

  Still a cloudy, potentially rainy, but very windy day.  Up to 50 mph gusts along the Lake Superior shore.  It takes the wind chill down to 38 degrees.  I love looking out of my living room window seeing the white birch tree outside flailing around in the rain and watching the effects of every day through this tree.  The leaves are still mostly green.  They will soon turn yellow and fall off.  I love Fall.  I don't even mind that Winter is coming.  I plan on not going far and concentrating on the newborn we will have for 3 months straight.  

WINDY, Rainy and Colder Day

  Went to the Michigan House last night for dinner.  So delicious.  Glad we went.  I liked the service this time too.  The waitress actually was on top of things for once.  Not too long of a wait on a Friday night either.  Too bad I could not have a hot cider or hot buttered rum drink.  It is all worth it though.

  I awoke this morning hot from the heater kicking on.  The wind is raging outside and Tony said he might have heard a leak in the ceiling of the downstairs bathroom.  Not good.  What a horrible day already.  Good day for reading the books I want and putting away diapers I suppose.  Those things need to be done anyway.

  These days, sometimes I will find that I am just starving.  I wake in the morning ready to eat.  In the afternoon I am famished if I do not eat soon enough.  I am back to the old ways of wanting to eat.  Strange.  My belly is getting tight for everything I do.  Standing, sitting, rolling over, etc. Even laying down does not guarantee a relaxed belly anymore.  The baby cannot move around much when the belly is tight, but moves around plenty when the belly is relaxed.  Poor thing.  No room in there, despite my large belly, I know the space is limited.  I have taken to waking thinking my water broke now, when nothing in reality is happening.  Just a vivid dream.  I am still so swollen that the pads of my feet are a dome and my fingers will not bend all the way.  Not even elevating really makes a difference these days.

  The doctor told me that I am lactose intolerant.  This late in the game I think avoiding dairy is good for me because it will make me feel better, but also is difficult as dairy seems to be in everything.  Well, everything seemingly good to me that is.  I have been transitioning to telling waitresses and not buying things with it in it already that I cannot pass up, but long term this will be something I can live with.  It was just convenient when it was hot that for breakfast or something as a cool quick snack I could just have some Kashi cereal.  No longer the same, using the Almond milk just tastes different after having the Organic Milk for the last few weeks.  Also, we waited too long to use up one carton of almond milk and it went bad.  It got clumpy and moldy around the carton opening.  Disgusting.

  If I do not write something down, I do not remember it today.  And I discovered yesterday, this includes taking the clothes from the washer to the dryer.  I forgot them twice yesterday.  I have a feeling there are going to be a plethora of lists happening in the near future.  There are some things, like paying for the car insurance, that need to be done and cannot be forgotten to forego any late fees that we really do not have the money or desire to pay for ever.  I am going to be needing that second wife these days even more so than before.

Good Day

  Raining and cooler does not dampen how good I feel.  I had my acupuncture appointment today.  She helped me with my swelling, neck and hip tightness.  I always feel better after acupuncture.  A day for relaxation and enjoying the feeling.  Full term and now this time is all gravy.  So fun.  Now I have an afternoon appointment to get my teeth cleaned.  Yay.  It's about time.  Good day for it.  Weeee...

I finished the book Spiritual Midwifery last night.  I intended on bringing it back to the acupuncturist today and, guess what, I forgot because I did not write it down.  I have one more book of hers that I want to finish this week.  I think I will just return both of them at the same time.  I am moving on to "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding."  Wish me luck reading it before the baby comes.  The acupuncturist pressed all the "to avoid" spots that can induce labor today.  Your body will resist these spots if not ready, but I plan on calling her to get her help if I have not gone into labor by next Friday.  I am shooting for Thursday myself. We will see :)  Not something I can plan.  I know, I know... silly.

  Got my teeth cleaned today!  I LOVE the feeling of clean teeth.  I especially love the neutral mint fluoride foam in the trays.  Yum and fun.  Those who like to get their teeth cleaned already have good teeth or want good teeth.  So nice and it has been so long.  Not much to clean off, but I like to be checked regularly by radiographs to check for cavities.  You never know what is going on inside your mouth or with your teeth without radiographs.  I like to stay updated on those.  I have been eating at erratic hours and amounts these days too, so cavities can form unexpectedly.  Happy to report, no cavities.  Yay for fluoride.

Rainy Day

Talked to my dad yesterday.  I wish I could see him more often.  I got the pics from Walmart and sent them out today.  Hope he gets his soon.

My belly gets tight every time I walk now.  Every time.  The baby is pushing on my ribs and feels really high instead of low.  I get nervous thinking of his position.  I just want him to cooperate and be straight down.

I've had had donut holes and candy corn the last 2 days.  Not just them, but it feels like that's all I've had.  I cannot set them down if I am at home and staring at them.  I am looking forward to conquering this little habit I have.  I have few vices.  Sugar just happens to be one of them.  I do not do drugs, am not an alcoholic, not have caffeine, not compulsively steal, not have bulimia or anorexia, am not a shopaholic, gambler, mobster, etc. etc.  I know there are worse things in life than the sugar.  At least it's not fried foods or rich dairy foods.  Twelve steps to changing what I eat and how I exercise.  I can't wait until I can control these things after the baby is born.

Tonight I am trying to finish reading Spiritual Midwifery.  I know having a baby will be a transcendental experience, but it will be my own journey.  Please baby, come with me on this journey to make this a successful and smooth one.  Amen

Tight Belly

  So the contractions have not ceased, but are still painless.  I cannot tell if sleeping on my right side helped to move the baby last night or not because my belly is so tight.  I woke with right hip muscle spasms this morning though.  This means I have to go stretch today again.  I had my chiropractic adjustment today.  He adjusted my pelvis too, to help with alignment for birth.  We will see if that makes a difference.  I do not feel the baby is low enough to be in position yet, but that could happen overnight.  I am hoping for Oct. 20th now that the full moon has passed.  I think the guessing game is fun.  Tony is so ready.  I think finish reading these books and the laundry today will get me that much more prepared.

  Very foggy today, supposed to be 72 degrees as a high, but I am already swollen.  My fingers and toes are like sausages.  My mother-in-law came over to check out the belly cast and the nursery.  Loved the belly cast.  It is so fun and cute and I can drape it over me in the future to remember how it was to be pregnant.  Worth every expensive penny.  My toes and feet went numb and my calves swelled while standing still for a little over an hour, but it was worth it and not that bad.  I did get dehydrated, but not enough to get dizzy or pass out.  I had just eaten before she came so I felt ok.  I want to reinforce it with more plaster to smooth it before painting it.  That may have to happen within the next few days. So fun.  Good for the nurse who did the belly cast to share her story and vice versa during the process.  Therapeutic any way you look at it. Oh those thoracic outlet symptoms have been flaring up with avengence these days, on top of the rib kicks.  Funny, and sometimes not so funny.

Update For Today

  I am getting my belly cast tonight.  I hope it goes well and that I can stand for that long without having to pee or get too bad of contractions.  These contractions have just started again.  The baby moved to the left side and is very low.  I was told to lay on my right side tonight to get the baby to move back to where he has been for the past 8 weeks.  Not dilated, but a good sign of having contractions already.

  Walmart photo center called me and said my order was "mis-filed."  I knew that it was not my mistake and after they told me it was my fault and am I "sure" that I had a one-hour photo order.  Yes, I was sure.  Ridiculous.  Now I am supposed to make a third trip there to pick them up.  I am not interested.  We will see when I get a chance to make another trip.  Certainly not tonight.  Ugh.  I could have just had them mailed to me by this time.

  No, the twenty-something receptionist did not get the message I left and they did not get the Group B test results prior to showing up to my appointment.  I knew they would not.  I did end up getting a single dose flu shot though.  I am happy to have my flu shot and now need Tony to get his.  I am going to ask my in-laws to get the Pertussis and flu shot too.  Better to be safe than sorry.  I am not due for my tetanus shot booster, thankfully.  I had that when I had my accident January of last year.  No thanks.

Dislike Profusely Walmart

  I placed an online order with Walmart to get photos printed in one hour.  I actually made pregnancy photo cards to send to my dad and others prior to the birth of my baby.  I have been uncomfortable with contractions and the like and do not want to walk far these days.  My sweet husband tried to pick them up but they could not FIND the order.  I went in myself today and they said they already looked and could not find the order.  They said that the order is only online for 3 days after the order is placed.  Today is day 3 after the order is placed so, if that is true, it should still be searchable by their description.  Also, they said to re-submit it to get it printed.  I have a confirmation notice that the order was ready to be picked up.  What fool emailed me if it was not ready then?  Is there someone else in that department that actually knows what is going on?  How is that possible?  They get paid by the hour and could care a less.  I, however, wanted to get these into the mail TODAY because I could go into full blown labor, at ANY TIME.  I am not happy.  I dislike Walmart anyway.  This is just one more reason I do not want to do business with them.

  Also, while complaining here, medical facilities should NOT hire teenagers or lower 20 somethings to be their receptionists.  They have no clue how the world works, schedules, what it means to be pregnant, what it means to reschedule a pregnant person so that they are further along and in more need of the appointment or not rescheduling them to the point where it will be after they will likely have given birth already.  They get on the phone and say, "Can you please hold?" and if not they do not know what to say when the caller says, "No, I cannot hold." and gives them their message anyway.  The receptionist still then says, "OK, can you please hold."  I just got done telling her I could not hold.  I just hung up.  I guarantee that the message did not get recorded and she did even know what my name was because she was likely distracted and not listening.  I will now show up and they will say something like, oh, well I did not get the message and not be prepared for my appointment anyway.  Incompetent fools.  They are not properly trained, and besides, some things cannot be trained.  It comes with living life and having the experience.  Painful to deal with these sickly sweet sounding incompetent voices over the phone.  Now I have to go to my appointment.

Braxton Hicks Contractions

  Since Saturday I have been having abdominal tightening.  These have been painful at times, but last from a few minutes to over an hour today.  They happen even when I relax and lay down.  I even woke from sleeping with a tight belly.  There is nothing I can find that makes the tightening go away, lessen or to make not occur.  I hope I make it until Friday.  Friday would be a fine day to have a baby.  Full moon Friday.  We'll see.  Contractions are nothing without losing my mucus plug and dilation.  I want to finish reading a couple of books, laundering diapers and some last minute cleaning.  Oh, to choose a name also.  Hmmm... we'll see what tomorrow brings.  Doctor's appointment, my last studio pregnancy pics, mom's night out and my belly cast if I can stand for that long.  Hope so.

Church & Belly Tightening

  Going to church today was difficult in some ways.  I am really swollen still and uncomfortable sitting.  When sitting there my right foot was feeling tingling and numbness. Both feet are so fat, with my toes barely able to bend.  I could not comfortably nor effectively elevate my feet during the service.  I had to leave early to come and lay down.  My belly got really hard when walking just to the church then back to the car.  I was not standing in church either.

  Now my belly gets hard anytime I use my abs.  Just to change positions, stand, walk, etc.  I am trying to hydrate, but it could be that I am dehydrated.  I keep drinking water though.  I have been getting hungry these days with the smaller meals that I can fit into my stomach.  I am hot from the warm temperatures.  I wish I could be outside enjoying this beautiful weather.

  Aunt Florence called me today.  She asked if I was sure I was not having twins.  She said from the picture card that I sent her that I looked uncomfortable and that I would give birth soon.  She said I looked really big.  I told her I was swollen and uncomfortable.  I think I will give birth soon also.  She said she has been thinking of me.  She could not hear me very well.  I felt bad she could not hear me, but I am glad that she called me.  So sweet of a woman.  I got too big and now I will have a big baby and need to give birth earlier.  Oh baby.   I am glad you are moving around so much, kicking and punching me in a favorable position.

  I think I will be lucky to make it until next Friday, let alone another couple of weeks.  Who knows what this week sill bring.  I have to make it until next Friday to be full term.  I hope I make it.  I would love October 20th, but it may be the 14th.  We'll see.

86 degrees- HOT, Mt. Bohemia and the Harbor Haus

Mt. Bohemia today at 86 degrees!  HOT and too much walking for me!  I over did it and my baby and belly did not like it.  Delicious dinner and dessert at the Harbor Haus afterwards.  I had a potato pancake with feta and apples.  Tony had whitefish wrapped with bacon, veggies and German potato salad.  Blueberry lemonade was great.  So tired driving home, but no deer in our path, thankfully.  Trying out our new camera before the baby comes.  I think I like it!  Got to watch the first HP Deathly Hallows movie tonight too.  Now it's the most recent Batman movie with Heath Ledger in it.  I think it's time for bed.

Amazing Sunset

So swollen from the heat.

Sunset tonight: Neptune's crown.  Amazing!

  Grilled chicken, baked beans, potato salad, macaroni & cheese with apple cider for dinner.  So good!  What a warm and glorious night.  A breeze that picked up, but 85 in town and 75 degrees out at the lake.  Very nice.  Cold water, I do not recommend trying to swim in it at this point.  I am so swollen from the heat.  Very tired.  Gummy tarantulas are my dessert tonight.

The Property Dinner Tonight- Divine

36 weeks along

Tony cooked great chicken dinner with Mac & Cheese and Pea Salad.  So good.  The baby has taken to kicking my ribs the last couple of days.  He is stretching out top and bottom too.  Doctor's appointment went well.  Next visit I will get my flu shot.  Countdown is here.  Full term next week.  So tired, going to bed after Grey's Anatomy for sure.  Well, after I shower to get the campfire smell out of my hair.