Alarm

  I just heard some sort of alarm wake me up out of a dead sleep.  It stopped going off so I waited for it to go off again to see if I was dreaming.  It went off again, but I could not pinpoint if it was upstairs or downstairs.  Now I'm wasting my potential sleeping time waiting for it to go off again to see if it is the carbon monoxide alarm or something else.  I cannot imagine an alarm that goes off then stops.  If it does not go off in the next 20 min, I'm going back upstairs to listen for it up there.

  Poor Adam and his rash.  Should I take him into the doctor again?  Even after she said it is a benign rash already?  It has spread and worsened again.  He does not seem bothered by it, but it looks terrible and has to be stressing his body and immune system.  If it is caused by an allergy, how do I tell what is causing it?  Food allergy?  Contact dermatitis? Ugh.  I know everyone wants to say, "Oh, it's alright.  Babies just get that sometimes." but this is freaking me out.  I have no way to treat it or distinguish if it is an allergy.  There are too many variables (eggs, nuts, dairy, laundry detergents, mold, dust, dry air, pollen, strawberries, formula, etc.). I wish I could help him.  He has a dry cough that just started today also.  It freaked me out as it sounded like he couldn't breath and he went on coughing for a while.  I gave him something to drink right away for him to swallow, but I do not know where that came from either?  Hmm...

  Good office party last night, all considered.  Friendly as can be and not confrontational, emotional or uncomfortable.  I am in such a better place with those people.  Whether they know it or not, I am better that I ever was before.  I now just have other focus and perspective in life.  I am not eating or drinking enough and an all appetizer party really does not help anything.  I am trying some organic milk maid tea my acupuncturist graciously dropped off for me.  What a sweet woman and gift.  I hope it works.

  I am not in the Christmas mood this year at all!  It is only days away and I have bought a sum total of zero presents for anyone in my family.  I am going sparse this year as the medical bills roll in.  I am so tired and off of my brain capacity that I cannot focus to get things done.  I just want to enjoy my baby and not have to worry about other obligations.  I hope he does not get sick from anything he was exposed to tonight.  That would be worse.
 
  I am to look for plane tickets for my sister to visit next month.  It would be great if she can, but I'm not holding my breath because her plans change more often than my Facebook status changes.  It would be great to see her.  She loves babies.  She could help clean, cook and babysit.  We have a spare room that can be cleared out, but I won't waste  my time clearing it out until she is committed because I have bigger fish to fry.  That would be fun.

  No alarm yet.  I'm heading upstairs to see if it goes off again.  My low back  hurts so bad from changing Adam and picking him up from the pack n play, I need to make other arrangements.  I will call my acupuncturist tomorrow to see when I can get treated, but likely it will be the end of January at the earliest to get an appt.  Fingers crossed.  G'night (I hope).