What is the best way to make a change?

  What is the best way to make a change?  Last week I went on a 20 hour drive for 80 hours of classes, homework, quizzes and exams.  There was more information than I could have imagined included in the time I allotted for learning new information.  I soaked in as much as I could pretty well, if I do say so myself.  I was on a schedule of waking 7 AM bed at 12-1 AM every day.  I even got up hungry and went to be after eating only light meals until 7-8 PM.  I had achieved my goal of getting on a schedule and making it to where I had to be prepared and on time.  I loved the accountability and responsibility to something greater than myself.

  I get home and the first thing I do is sleep in after the exhausting and long hour week I just had.  I then start eating on a different schedule.  Then I go from reasonable meals to eating later in the evening and then eating right before bed.  Eating so late I feel I cannot go to bed as it is uncomfortable to lay down with a full stomach so I stay up later and then wake the next day later.  I am shocked it only took me 3 days to totally ruin the schedule that I so valiantly adhered to last week.  What is with that?

  It takes 21 days to make a change otherwise you will not stick with it.  I need to make a "lifestyle" change to make what I want to happen happen.  How do I set my mind and will power into effect to get the job done?  Where is my will power located and why does it leave me in times of need?  Where is my mind at that I just splutter off into spiraling oblivion without a path as soon as I do not have a routine to follow?  Am I just one of those people?  Those that need an external as well as internal driving force to get the job done.  Deadlines, plans and details to keep me occupied?  My mind is racing with anxiety to pass the test I need to pass next week, but I am confident that I should do well enough not to worry about it.  What is the problem with this picture then?  The anxiety that I feel is more of an undercurrent, rather than an overall driving force.  To drive it out of my system, after years of letting it steer me, is more challenging than I thought.  I am going to have to think about this one.  Hmm... big surprise that one eh.  I will be on a schedule long enough, I guess I better enjoy the time I have now because soon my time will not be my own anymore.  Then I will say, "Ah, the good old days."  Cannot win I guess.  Oh you curve ball, go the other way this time. Time for delta or change.