Recycled all cardboard from my attic and Christmas (2 carloads of them)
Sealed some windows with plastic seal and the house is warmer than ever (why did I not know about this earlier?)
Accepted a position at State Wide Realty Agency
Organized all of my 2010 receipts for tax purposes (hours of sorting)
Went to Green Bay for a seminar in the Atrium of Lambeau field with my husband and woke up to -13 degrees before windchill factored
Attended my friend Erika's office 70's themed party
Went to church by myself for the first time in about 6 years
Scheduled and attended Smart Zone business networking meeting
Worked out at Curves 4-6 times a week
Goals for February:
Real estate classes and then test for licensure
Try Tai Chi and the Crane technique for the first time
Try Mantra Meditation for the first time
Read the Newspaper daily
Participate in the Michigan Technological University All-nighter ice sculpture competition
Read the book about Fibromyalgia and finish Worry and Anna Karenina
Send Valentines out in the mail to the friends and family on the west coast that I do not get to see often
Plan and book my AZ fiesta via hotel, car and accommodations
Take a media vacation at least 2 days this month (this includes TV, phone, internet, etc.)
Windy day today did not get me down. Very strange night last night. I went to lay down in bed by 11:00 PM, but did not fall asleep until after 2 AM. I last looked at the clock at 1:40 AM. I have chest tightness, but it does not feel like anxiety. It is likely caffeine related. I have been trying to dose me little by little to gain some tolerance, but it seems that that is not working. I tried enough to use a new buckwheat pillow last night also. I tossed and turned, nothing was comfortable. I had a fitful sleep. I woke this morning dreaming. I dreamt that I was in a bar/mall area that seemed endless with stairs and dark halls with various neon lights and smokiness that did not bother my eyes or lungs.
I was walking alone and then with friends sometimes. Nameless, faceless friends that I could feel their presence next to me, but I did not see them. I was deep in thought and would talk out loud, but not have conversations. I would come across some guys, two guys in particular, that kept looking at me. One was making funny faces at me and then his friend would talk to him in his ear. I, at first, did not recognize them. Then, after a couple of passes, they became more familiar. They seemed to be people I knew before. The friend of the guy making funny faces at me came up to me and said he couldn't believe that I would show my face let alone stick around after seeing them after what I did to his friend.
I still didn't remember what exactly happened in the past, but something was ringing a bell. All his friends started talking to each other about how much he was hurt by me and how hard he took it. Also, how right now he still wanted to be with me, but was mad at me. I didn't remember all of that, but I could vaguely get that feeling that they told the truth. I woke with the feeling that I could recall guys in my past that somehow thought that we were dating unbeknownst to me. I know they felt slighted and I was the target of their feelings, but I was so self involved or oblivious that I did not know how they felt or that they thought we were dating. They never "officially" asked me out on a date, we would just hang out. I kept things casual as my heart was already taken most of the time. Not that the guys could tell that, I guess I found that out. The guys faces of the two friends in the dream, I could see their faces and neither one of them were faces I know in real life. They were just dreamed up. Weird. I'm watching Vampire Diaries and Grey's Anatomy is on next. Sweet dreams my curve ball life.
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