Monday, July 23, 2012

Dinner and Thinking

  Good to see relatives for dinner.  Regretting the last 2 nights of dinners as they both made my stomach feel sick for hours after eating.  I guess I am so used to my wheat, egg, dairy free diet that my body is not happy when I have large amounts of all of these foods in one sitting over two days.  I have learned my lesson and need to stick to the foods that make my body feel good.  This will help my peace of mind too.

Speaking of peace of mind, I have not had any for months now.  I am worrying about a whole new lot of issues.  Baby and non-baby related issues that are old and new.  I have been so on edge that this weekend just flew by with the to-do list that seems never-ending.  What I would not do for a professional organizer to come into my house and help me on a weekend to clean it out and baby proof at the same time.  I have a love hate relationship with this house.  There are so many aspects of this house I love, those as to why I wanted to buy it.  They are not forgotten, but those that I did not know when we purchased it have cropped up and lingered.  For whatever reason, I have not tended to all I wanted to change about this house.  Obviously there is ongoing change with a new baby now, and all the changes I have done have happened in good time.  Timing is everything and not under my control.  There are only so many things I can accomplish while tending to my 8.5 month old baby in one day.

I am ready for another change.  I can see it coming.  I feel it will be for the better.  I am looking forward to change and hope it becomes routine.  Life is what is happening while I am making plans.  Now I want to live the plans already.  I feel Tony has such a burden he bears humbly.  He is such a good husband and dad.  Without him, nothing in my life would have been possible right now.  I am grateful for him everyday.  Time to take matters into my own hands and do what I have to do, what I know I have to do.  Mental block doing it for some reason.  Odd.

Ah, I feel better now.  Off to the doctor's office tomorrow.  Not real excited, but it must be done.  The answers after doctor appointments are usually better than before I went in.  That is a plus anyway.  Seeking some peace of mind.  Hoping to get that.  Send me positive vibes please.  Thank you.

Adam said, "Da da," over and over again today.  He is moving on with his vocabulary and growing up.  It makes me tear up that he is growing so fast.  He has no fear and is pushing off of furniture in hopes of taking a couple of steps and face planting.  Well, I catch him before the face planting anyway.  My brave boy who just wants to run.  Silly.

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