Christmas Eve

  Good visit with Rita and the Linna family today.  He slept through the visit, but it was nice to commiserate about baby stories.  Good times.  It is fun to see friends and family in a smaller, more relaxed setting.

Hah

     HAH

I know at this time my memory is short sided and I take this experience for granted.  I have waited so long for this experience and it is flying by dictated by his eating and sleeping schedule.  I just love him and wanted to reflect on how harrowing his experience was and how we came out the other side with an overall healthy baby.  He really makes a world of difference.  I cannot imagine a different outcome.  Watching The Undertaking on PBS about a Michigan undertaker's life, they buried a 24 month old child with a congenital syndrome.  I cannot imagine the nightmare of living through that.  I plan on my angel being around for longer than I am.  I just want to take care of him and come up with a plan to make that happen.

  Trying to eat dairy to get my fats for Adam's brain development was a mistake.  Immediately, within 2 days of eating dairy, I have thick mucous drainage from my sinuses and I have trouble clearing my throat.  My digestive system is also already effected.  I plan to switch tact and go with daily almond butter, almond milk, olive oil, avocado and the like.  This just means I need to go shopping for the right goods.  He's sleeping right now so I'm going to take advantage.  Time to hit the pillow.

A New Day

  After a frantic and erratic night yesterday night, last night was a complete change.  I cannot predict this child yet.  As long as I hold him, he will sleep.  He has a sensor that tells him when he's not being held and he wakes up screaming.  So crazy.  They must have that as a reflex.  I was able to get him to sleep well last night, but I cannot sleep while holding him.  He has done as well as he could to be calm last night.  I'll take holding him calmly all night rather than frantically unhappy any day.

  His babble and noises are progressing.  They are getting louder and more frequent.  It is amazing how fast they grow.  He loves listening to and looking at his daddy as he does not get to see him as often.  He is a pro at kicking off his blankets now.  He does not cry because he is cold after the fact, but I lose sleep over it.  He needs to be warm in this cold winter.  It is swing time.  Hopefully more sleep in his bed and more for me too.  He sounds like he is working on filling his diaper.  Time to rescue him before I need to give him a bath.

Night Owl

Rough night

  Last night was a particularly rough night.  I was up with Adam from 10:30 PM until 11:30 AM this morning.  I ended up getting an on and off 3 hours of sleep again.  When truly exhausted it was not safe to walk anymore.  I just sat and tended to him until I finally got him to nod off.  Eating every 1.5-2  hrs with diaper changes in between as he was alert and wanted to play otherwise.  There was no swing lullaby last night.  When I finally slept, I still had to get up to tend to him.

  Lack of sleep really messes with my memory and ability to function.  I cannot sit down and concentrate to read anything.  I slump while sitting.  I forget where I put something or did something.  I write notes of to-do, but I have done nothing on the list.  I am on a subsistence existence right now.  Eat, sleep, laundry, shower, and brush teeth.  I have no energy to exercise let alone go out into public.  I want to visit with people, but while sleep is so elusive, I cannot make it happen.  I think when Tony gets home, oh, I'll just lay down for an hour and get up to go out.  Then he lets me sleep and I sleep until Adam needs to eat.  Then we miss out on whatever function we were to attend.

  He has taken to rolling during diaper changes.  He loves tummy time and was on the move today.  He is on the verge, but I know it will still take time.  He is a seemingly restless sleeper who makes noises, raspberries, trumpeting and is moving his arms and legs squirming with his eyes closed.  He is not getting enough lipids in his diet and I am working on getting him more in his diet.  I now respond to his crying as a reflex.  He kicks off his blanket if he falls asleep in his swing and wakes up wanting attention.  He loves looking at paintings and mirrors.  He now engages us with is eyes.  He wakes up to Tony's voice, inconvenient if I just got him to sleep.  He stares at me when I eat, just studying what I am doing.  He responds to the hair dryer sound and listens to music while awake.  He loves to be held to sleep, but not so much when awake. He wants to play and have to freedom of movement rather than being held while awake.

  I woke from a dream and did not know where I was, what job I do, if I had a family let alone that I just had a baby.  I now lay down my head and once warm, in about 5 minutes, I am sleeping hard.  I now wake after 2-3 hours.  I do not sleep longer than that and I wake up on my own.  My internal clock is already accustomed to Adam's schedule.  I wish he let me sleep when he did.  He does not have to scream when he needs his diaper changed when sleeping every time.  He will just start fussing and I know if I do not reach him and change him while his eyes are closed in time, he will give me a full body awakening frantic scream.  It is best to be pre-emptive and try to read his cues than wait until he is fully awake.  Duty calls, gotta go.

The Magic Number 3

  I got 3 hours sleep last night before "waking up" and celebrating Christmas.  Today I got 3 hours sleep as well.  Now, Adam is usually wide awake is fussing and needs to be held.  He will not let me lay him down, but will not stay happily in my arms either.  I think he was too stimulated today and is exhausted, it is my only guess.  He slept for a long time today, 4 hours straight during dinner time.  Unfortunately, this is the time I decided to eat dinner, shower, call people for Christmas, etc. I did not get to take advantage of this fluke event.  Oh well.

  It was a good Christmas, some snow on the ground.  Tomorrow is supposed to be 39 degrees.  That will be odd.  I plan on avoiding after Christmas sales, despite wanting discount Christmas cards.  I remember going to Kmart after sales and getting cards 75-90% off.  That was great.  The good ol' days.  I wish I could go shopping, but I cannot afford it anyway.  Why waste my time.

Cousins: Lizzie

Christmas Adam

At Grandparents house for Christmas

First Night Out On The Town

  Tonight, Adam got to go to dinner with friends outside the house.  We all went to Carmelitas with some old high school friends of Tony's.  He liked the road trip there.  We ended up spending 25 minutes in the bathroom for a diaper change, feeding, spitting up and clothing change.  He was happy to look around and hang out for a while, then became hyper because he was too hyper-stimulated.  He liked the car ride home and then had to eat again before taking a cat nap.  What a sweet boy.

  It was nice to talk to someone who is newly pregnant fresh after my experiencing it.  I can totally relate.  I have little in the way of recommendations because everyone's preferences are so different, but I can commiserate none-the-less.  It was just enough to tucker him out.  He's actually sleeping right now, which is unusual.  I'm going to lay down too.  We have plans for more visiting today.  Hopefully his schedule will cooperate.

  He has such restless/movement filled sleep it is hard to tell if he's really sleeping sometimes.  He has changed so much over the last few weeks.  Amazing how alert and how much attention he pays to us now.  He seeks us out with is eyes and cues into our voices.  He loves to look at lights and colorful objects, like paintings.  He has done alright if burped after each feeding so his gastric reflux is not that bad at this point.  He really is a light in my life.  He was meant to be our son.  He is so much of a Sarazin looking boy that he must contribute to the family in some way in the future.  A great boy to follow behind the great men he resembles.

He just got the puppies to use today for comfort on his sensitive skin. Sweetie

Nice coverage when it is 19 degrees out. Cozy warm

  My sister may book tickets to come and visit!  We are so close to getting her here (big smile).  That would be so great.  She could cook, clean, feed him, play with him and experience the copper country a little bit.  So fun!  Fingers crossed again.  Tomorrow we are meeting family and friends to hang out and then it is Christmas Eve!  I'm glad I got my presents wrapped last night in his marathon awake time.  Sweet dreams all!

  So I slept on and off all day long as he was bright eyed and bushy tailed all night long.  We did get a prescription cream to apply for his rash, which I applied all over him and he did not mind one bit.  What a trooper.  He smiled at me while awake for the first time last night.  So precious.  He was so awake and ready to play.  He is thrashing about with arms and legs flailing, getting ready to be on the move in the near future.  He only fits 3-6 month clothes now, so he feels he's grown up enough to make decisions, i.e. the picture.  He is so sweet.  I am glad I got some sleep.  Now I can get the paperwork done I was supposed to, wrap presents and clean tonight.  I know he will be up all night again, so I might as well prepare.

  I look forward to seeing a bunch of friends and family that are in town for Christmas.  I hope none of us get sick.  Adam responded very well to the cream and his rash is diminished today.  I am hoping using different detergent, avoiding eating chocolate, oranges, peanuts, strawberries, dairy and eggs and using the cream for 1 week will clear him right up.  He is trying to talk and coos all the time.  I love when he responds to me when I am talking to him like he is answering me.  Love it.  He still wakes out of a dead sleep and screams when he is ready to be attended to, but that is his mode of communication and it is cute despite the blood curdle to it.

  I cannot believe it is Christmas this weekend.  I am so unprepared.  I have not gone grocery shopping, not shopped at all really.  It does not feel right.  I know it will be a blur.  He is so set on his schedule I cannot imagine what it will be like to try to get him over to the in-laws house for a day of hanging out.  I am going to have to just cover with a blanket to feed him otherwise we might as well just go home because he will be eating or sleeping for the whole day.Not much in the way of presents this year.  I was hoping to go without completely, but sparse is a good start to just enjoying the season without presents.  I am so thankful for this baby Adam.  I look forward to having the energy and time to exercise.  I think my body will really appreciate it.

  Time to eat dinner as Adam is enjoying the swing right now.  Love that he is big enough to enjoy it.  I cannot believe just 2 weeks ago he was too small and now he's a whopper thick boy.  What a sweetie.  Love my guys!  Merry Christmas.  I dream of walking around and looking at everyone's Christmas lights in Arizona.  I should make my sister go and live vicariously through her.  Hah.  Maybe she can take some pictures for me.  Nice.