Shots From Hell

  Since Adam's vaccinations last Monday, he has been a different kid.  He's been acting sick.  Spitting up larger amounts, feverish, cries more, will not eat without getting so worked up then having to calm down to be able to eat, sleeping shorter intervals during the day, eating less, not as active. I'm so angry about the nurse I cannot let it go.  I'm so worried about him now I cannot sleep. The nurse did a horrible job of administering the shots.  The needle was a 27 gauge or larger, huge and unnecessary needle about 2 inches long.  She shoved that in and I bet hit the bone.  He bled way more than he should have, I think she hit a vessel.  She did one leg and the blood ran down one side of his leg, she loosely put the bandaid on so it was worthless and was not stopping the bleeding.  Then she did the other leg.  Then came back to the already bleeding one and stuck it again with a similar result.  The blood was then running down 3/4 the length of his leg and she proceeded to walk out the door and say, "You're all set." She didn't even clean it up or wait for it to clot.  She could have at least applied pressure.  She should have done the other leg twice instead of the one that was already bleeding more so.  There has to be a smaller needle lumen that they can use for those shots.  It was ridiculous.  After the first one I should have stopped her.  It was like watching a car crash and being dumb struck.  I'm so not happy about it.  Poor guy.  From someone who is trained and gave shots for a living, she is not well trained and should not be working on infants for certain.  I will never let her come near my baby again.


  That being said, he is 14 pounds 10.4 ounces at his 2 month check up.  He is so tough, but fragile too.  He cannot fit so many of the clothes.  I have to go through the next drawer of sizes 6-9 months and launder them this weekend so he will have something to wear.  He is growing way to fast for me.  I cannot believe how time is flying.  I finally took down the Christmas tree yesterday and today.  He watched me the whole time.  This is because I was doing it in the wee hours of the morning as he insisted on being awake.  He has reverted back to only sleeping a couple hours at a time and staying up all night now after his shots.  This has really set us back.  I am noisy and play with him during the day, but I need to sleep too.  What a vicious cycle.  He writhes in his sleep, trumpeting and blowing raspberries.  I wonder if he's getting good sleep or if he's a light sleeper.  I cannot tell.


  I thought I got through this experience unscathed, but I am just now developing the only stretch marks that I got from this pregnancy.  They are not pretty and not in a flattering location.  Sad face.  Oh well.  It was bound to happen.  Just one more thing on the list of becoming a mother that marks the occasion.  My C-section scar is slowly getting less numb/tingling/painful.  As long as I keep the shea butter on it, I'm good.


  For the nursery, if I had to do it over again, I would have put a oversized chair or love seat in that room instead of a changing table.  Live and learn.  Also, I would have put shelves up before the baby was born, now I have a feeling they will not be put up.  I would like more than one outlet in the entire room also.  Yes, that is right.  I said only one outlet for the room.  All the things I want to plug in are not possible: night light, 2 lamps, baby monitor, hair dryer as needed, CD player, etc. Oh well.  Maybe in our new house in the future we can do that.  I love the closet organizer we bought, but now I have to stock it with the next size of clothes as I took out all the ones that he does not fit, which was 3/4 of the clothes that I lovingly hung up before he was born.


  I went to the Atlas Chiropractic Center for 3 appointments now.  I have to say that they are the least invasive and the most effective chiropractor I have ever experienced.  Now if only I can coordinate them with massage and acupuncture I will be all set.  I am having terrible numbness from just supporting his head to feed him.  Also, where my latissimus dorsi attach on both sides have been torn or traumatized to the point of muscle spasms when I'm just sitting or standing doing nothing.  They are on fire when I try to exert strength to hold him.  I am trying my Moby wrap and baby Bjorn carriers at home now.  With practice I will use them going out so I don't have to carry the too heavy car seat.


  I finally went out with Adam on my own to run errands and found the car seat with him in it to be unmanageable for me.  He is way too heavy already.  With all the gear and bags on top of it, the winter makes it difficult for me to go places on my own.  Now that he is spitting up more as well I need the diaper bag at all times loaded with spit bibs, diapers and outfits.  He also cannot stand when his diaper feels wet.  He will scream as soon as it reaches an intolerable limit for how full the diaper gets.  He had 4 diaper changes in between one feeding today.  Incredible.  I cannot wait until Spring!  I want to walk without ice or snow and not have to drive somewhere in doors to go for a safer walk.  One that I can use the stroller.


  He cut up his face in 6 places over the last 2 days and no matter how often and how I feel I have gotten all the sharp edges, he keeps cutting himself.  He just scraped his bed and I can hear the sharpness from across the room.  Sad to look at the cuts all over him when I know it is my responsibility and they are preventable.  He fights me, but I do file them every other day.  Oh man. I know his diaper has to be full right now.  I am just waiting for him to give me a signal and I can change him and try laying back down again.  


  Sometimes there is nothing I can do and he will only fall asleep in his swing.  The swing is closer to the floor and by an external wall of the house which makes it cold.  He insists most of the time on kicking off his blanket so if I fall asleep he gets really cold, but he will sleep through that.  Odd.  I can keep replacing the blanket until he is so sleeping he does not kick it off, but it is rare he keeps it on.  Now I have taken to putting him in a long sleeve onesie and a sleep sack that I have altered so he does not need the blanket to be warm.  That said, he is getting so active he is at the point where I have to strap him in.  He writhes and arches his back and I fear he will just take a header out of the chair.  With the sleep sack on, I cannot strap him in.  Catch 22.  


  Wow, that wind is really blowing.  Already a foot of snow has fallen, but the wind is taking over.  I cannot believe this storm.  It could be worse, and we need the snow for tourism.  Glad I can stay in doors with Adam.  I am glad we can just take our time and let him heal.  I hope he turns around and does not need the Tylenol soon.  I don't blame him for being out of sorts.  I just hope he can rebound in his own time.  No visitors this weekend like I had planned.  That is ok.  I can have time to work on his baby scrap book and get pictures downloaded to print.  I can rearrange the freezer to accommodate the milk organizer, back up my hard drive, take a thank you gift over to the neighbor and clean the floors after doing some laundry.

Taken days before the shots

Also taken a week before the shots

Back Slide

  I got another 3 hour in a night sleep again.  Back sliding unfortunately.  He fits the 6 months old Carter onesies perfect right now at almost 8 weeks old.  Unreal.  I cannot imagine he will be growing this much forever, but maybe.  I hope with the more sleeping, the less eating, the plateau of growing will occur.  He needs to grow and I will not deny or stunt that.  He is happy to be growing, he spends his awake time happy and then exhausts himself into a fit of crying to be calmed down to a hard sleep.  At least he's consistent.  His happy awake time is the best.  Getting stronger with the bigger as well.  Fun times.
I put away the clothes and dishes completely for the first time since Adam was born. Feels good.

  I was supposed to go to the meeting with the other mothers tonight, but my alarm on my phone did not go off and I slept until Adam was ready to nurse and be changed again.  I wanted to go and check it out, ask questions and to listen.  Disappointed that I missed out.  I will try again next month.  It did feel good to get a cat nap in.  I slept hard apparently.  Adam is sleeping in my arms right now.  Not sure he will lay down tonight.  I will try again.  Right after I eat this candy cane.  Good night.

Back To Old Times

  Well, last night was another 3 hour of sleep night as he reverted back to old times.  I hope it was a one night lapse, but we will see.  Ordered a picture calendar for this year.  Excited to have a family calendar! I have taken thousands of photos and a hundred videos already.  I think its only fair I get to see the pictures without having to print out each photo separately.  Love the digital age!  Wish I had it in high school.  Likely good that I didn't really.

  Adam has so much hair!  It is so long in the back I am considering trimming it.  I hate to do it, but I can put it in his baby book.  Lots to clean too.  His mohawk is so self perpetuating now.  Especially when he moves his head back and forth while sleeping.  He is a moving boy while sleeping.  So vocal he will yell out a single loud noise and be just sleeping and on the verge of waking.  Glad I was awake when that happened.  That would have freaked me out.  So great to see him smile all the time now.

  Laundry finally done and kitchen cleaned as much as possible.  We will take down the tree to move around the baby furniture this weekend.  This way I can clean floors.  Oh, the joys of staying at home these days.  I have a lactation group meeting tonight.  I have some questions for them.

Tough Time

  Went through the gauntlet to get him to sleep just now.  His schedule is off, but he's still doing better than he was.  I got 6.5 hours of sleep last night!  So great.  I hope to get the same amount tonight.  He is getting more aware and active every day.  Love it.  I could not lay him down much today, I had to hold him.  He's only this "little" once and time is already running out.  He is so precious.  I am trying to appreciate every second of this age.  He has basic needs that I can fulfill and I am keeping him home to avoid the illnesses that are going around (cold, flu, whooping cough, etc.). He just makes my world a happier place.  Whatever happens in the future, I love the precious time we got to spend together, even though he does not know who I am really right now.  He goes off of instinct, my smell and voice.  He knows me, but not by name yet.  Such a good boy.

  The fleece sleep sacks are so convenient, but they are too hot for him.  They make it so he does not have to have blankets now that he's active and moving all around I do not want to put a blanket in with him for fear of suffocation.  The sleep sack keeps him warm, too warm, so I cut some vent holes in the back and made it sleeveless.  Now, his feet and body stay warm without sweating too much to get a heat rash.  I am happy with the outcome despite the funny looking garment he wears now.

Adam's first Christmas sleep sack Love it

Fleece sleep sack fun

Kicky kicker needs padding not to hurt himself 

Good Day

  What a good day today. Sitting here with Adam sleeping in my arms just makes this whole surreal having a baby thing so real. I try to make plans in my head and I cannot because I do not know what he will need or want in the future. He makes me giddy for him to just be here.

  His face already changed. His cheeks are chubbier. Just last night he spun around and was moving and grabbing things in the crib. He laughs when he plays and makes like he is really talking. He is wide awake to kick the surface beneath him and to punch the air until he is exhausted. Then he takes a nap before waking to do it all over again. He sat in both vibrating chairs today and played for a while contentedly. He then sucked on his knuckles and thumb until he wanted out or became hungry.  He punches the air while sleeping along with babble, trumpeting and raspberry noises. He is eating 3-4 ounces of fluid at feedings now. Quite the sleeper last night. I felt like a new person today. One with energy to actually do something on this crazy cold day.  It's too cold to move snow for long periods of time. Crazy.

  I do not like this in between clothes period. I want to exercise just to get passed it. I want the rash that came back, to go away completely. He was held by those without Drefted clothes and strong perfume/cologne on and got red rash back on his face and back of neck. I have to get more cream for him already.

  Time to do laundry and watch The Hangover II, which will be a waste of time, but I will fold and put away clothes in the meantime. Look forward to a clean house someday. Duty calls, diaper time (ting).

New Year Starts Cold and Snowy

Found his thumb

 
  I purchased a bin for the clothes Adam has already grew out of and it is officially already full!  I cannot believe it, so I weighed him today.  He is a whopping 14.2 lbs today.  What a guy.  He looks stout rather than chunky I must say.  He slept the longest stretch he's ever slept last night.  So excited.  I am going to bed now to temp fate for him to wake up because he can sleep unpredictably now.  His long stretch did coincide with night also.  We have been keeping him up and more occupied during the day.  It worked out that daddy is able to help with that also.

  We had Joanne come by and drop off some much needed home cooked dinner tonight.  Chicken soup, salad and homemade olive oil and rosemary bread. Delicious!!  Wow, I could come to her house for dinner every night.  So good.  I cannot remember when I have had such good bread and soup.  The little things in life.  I appreciate her coming over and gifting me warmth and food, along with the friendship.  Through this experience of having a baby I really have discovered who our true friends and caring family are.  I am really appreciative of all of them and my eyes are now more open to the love when before I had such short sightedness for fear, anger, sadness, uncertainty and worry.

  Now for the unsolicited advice from this new mom.  Sleep sacks and zipper outfits with footies attached are a must for being around the house!  Love, love them.  Adam has now grown out of every zipper outfit with footies that are cotton.  I am just not any good with getting him snapped quick enough for his sad crying when he is ready to eat or be done being changed.  I also love the Medela vented covers that go inside the nursing bra when going out to prevent leakage and spilling.  They are soft, long lasting, easily cleaned, reusable and fantastic.  Nursing bras without an underwire are a must.  The latch must be easily one handed open and closed and those that I got off of zullily are great.

  You will want "in between" clothes for when you do not quite fit your normal clothes and your belly has not quite gone down all the way and that can accommodate nursing as well.  The blanket clips that turn a blanket into a nursing shield is also wonderful and easy to use.  I love the small cotton spit bibs for travel.  I love the boppy pillow with a removable pillow case for easy cleaning.  I have already had to launder the whole pillow and it makes life easier to have a pillow case that is soft and dreftable.

  Through this experience I have had to change my plan for the unexpected and am glad that through this learning process I figured out everyone is different and their preferences dictate their comfort in this time of severe lack of sleep and memory loss.  I appreciate what moms go through and the poor dads having to put up with the sleep deprived moms.  I love the camera and flip video.  I cannot get enough documentation of the constant changes he is going through.  On this blizzard warning night with snow blowing and the potential for power outage, I appreciate the warmth and the sounds Adam makes on the baby monitor as I sit here and quickly type this out.  I'm excited to dream tonight about a clean house and taking a hot shower tomorrow.  Ah, Calgon, take me away.

Adam 7 weeks old and sitting as best he can

Happy New Year 2012

  Great New Year!  I'm so excited to see what this year brings.  It is already better than last year.
Adam did great at dinner tonight, last night he was fussy because he was tired.  I think he knew he had laid back company and took it to heart.  Great dinner with family.  Fun.
Adam Finnaly slept through the night for the first time!  He gets up every 3 hours so I can get a good hour of sleep at a time.  SO excited.  He is so precious.  I want to weigh him because he definitely is bigger over the last week.  He is wearing 3-6 month clothes.  Mostly 6 month clothes and they just fit him at this point. He looks so old and it feels like he's been here longer than 7 weeks.  He is such a growing boy.  So on the move kicking and punching the air.  Love how on the move he is.  He gets all worked up and then exhausts himself and is ready to sleep.  Fun to see his patterns to figure out what his personality is, his likes and dislikes and how he is unique.  Love it.  Time to hit the pillow.