He fell asleep in the swing for the first time last night! So precious and so wonderful he could be calmed and happy. He is heavier now and weighs down the swing so it does not go too fast anymore. He looks big in it, but they specs say up to 25 lbs. I do not feel I can leave him in there for long go to sleep myself while he is swinging, but while I am awake I can at least eat hands free. I see this being great for our future. Yay.
We watched the Nutcracker on PBS last night live from Lincoln center in New York City. Tony looked up tickets. The cheapest, on a Wednesday night, were ~$300. The prime seats were $942. We got to watch it live without flying there, getting a hotel, traveling in the cold, sitting with the public, risking bed bugs and illness. We were warm, at home, together, not having to dress up and still got to enjoy a ballet that we love. I especially love the costumes. Of course the ballerinas were superb as they are in the biggest city there is for culture. I enjoyed it. The ballet was re-aired later in the night so I got a repeat opportunity to enjoy it again. Sweet. I miss going to the Nutcracker in Detroit when Tony and I were dating. It was so much fun.
What a yucky rainy day. I do not know if the streets are slick out there, but they do not look good from in here. Happy to be warm and dry. Uh, oh. Duty calls.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
New Day
He fell asleep in the swing for the first time today! He's been nodding off and waking in it for the past 45 minutes. He looks so peaceful!
He filled his diaper without any intervention today!! I hope this continues or improves more than how it is now. I want a happy guy. I think he must be going through a growth spurt as he's ravenous often and has wet diapers frequently. I have not weighed him so I am not sure. His baby acne or rash has worsened to cover 75% of his head, the back of his neck, 1/4 of his front torso including his shoulders, 2/3 of his upper arms, more spaced out the entirety of his back, on his eye lids, and ear lobes. Poor guy doesn't seem to mind it. We bathe him and do not try to dry out his skin or over-heat him. I am constantly taking his temperature to see if he's hot and he has only been hot 2 times. I do not know. We are trying to keep him in cotton, though those fleece sleep sacks are so convenient and warm. I just love them. He had the rash before I started using the sleep sacks though. The severity of the rash changes daily. His face improved today and I saw on his back, during tummy time today, that it had worsened. Time will tell.
He has been waking to eat every 1.5 - 2 hrs every night. The rocker recliner is luckily pretty comfy to sleep in and I get the bed when Tony is at work. Time flies during the day! I finally put away the laundry and now we start the cycle over again. Such a sweet boy. He really pays attention to Tony when he is home. He watches him and likes to snuggle.
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| From Today |
He filled his diaper without any intervention today!! I hope this continues or improves more than how it is now. I want a happy guy. I think he must be going through a growth spurt as he's ravenous often and has wet diapers frequently. I have not weighed him so I am not sure. His baby acne or rash has worsened to cover 75% of his head, the back of his neck, 1/4 of his front torso including his shoulders, 2/3 of his upper arms, more spaced out the entirety of his back, on his eye lids, and ear lobes. Poor guy doesn't seem to mind it. We bathe him and do not try to dry out his skin or over-heat him. I am constantly taking his temperature to see if he's hot and he has only been hot 2 times. I do not know. We are trying to keep him in cotton, though those fleece sleep sacks are so convenient and warm. I just love them. He had the rash before I started using the sleep sacks though. The severity of the rash changes daily. His face improved today and I saw on his back, during tummy time today, that it had worsened. Time will tell.
He has been waking to eat every 1.5 - 2 hrs every night. The rocker recliner is luckily pretty comfy to sleep in and I get the bed when Tony is at work. Time flies during the day! I finally put away the laundry and now we start the cycle over again. Such a sweet boy. He really pays attention to Tony when he is home. He watches him and likes to snuggle.
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| I wonder what he's thinking?! |
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
It Worked
A tip that we used worked to fill his diaper, amazingly a lot, twice yesterday. Now he's working toward being regular again, but without knowing the cause, I'm not sure what will happen. He seems happy and hungry enough. No shortage of liquids or eating though. Sleeping in 2-3 hr intervals and has needed to be held or entertained at all times while awake. Good thing he's so sweet.
Caught an episode of 1 Born Every Minute on Lifetime and I feel it is too soon. I am too emotional to watch. Everything is still so raw. Even with this sweet boy in my arms. I'll never forget.
We took our Christmas card picture last night. It gave me forced perspective. Adam looks so big while I hold him but he is so tiny in pictures with us holding him. The one hour photo was broken when Tony went to pick up our prints. I hope it is fixed today, but who knows. It is a delayed Christmas this year, and so it goes.
Love the sneaker sox!
Caught an episode of 1 Born Every Minute on Lifetime and I feel it is too soon. I am too emotional to watch. Everything is still so raw. Even with this sweet boy in my arms. I'll never forget.
We took our Christmas card picture last night. It gave me forced perspective. Adam looks so big while I hold him but he is so tiny in pictures with us holding him. The one hour photo was broken when Tony went to pick up our prints. I hope it is fixed today, but who knows. It is a delayed Christmas this year, and so it goes.
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| Tony & Adam, my guys |
Sunday, December 11, 2011
No Fun
Poor guy is grunting, straining, red in the face and crying with only noise and sound as a result. He may be going through a growth spurt, but going from every diaper change to none for 7 diaper changes since yesterday at 10 PM until 4 PM now without anything but a speck is upsetting. He has been spitting up also, 7 times 2 days ago, 4 times yesterday and none yet today. Only one "bigger" spit up. Mostly it is just a mouthful amount. Something has changed for sure. If it is a growth spurt I wonder how long something like this lasts. It could be too much formula, but he has only had 2.5 x 2 oz bottles in the last 24 hours. Is it because I was dehydrated yesterday and that dehydrated him? Ugh.
On a positive note, he smiled while awake for the first time today. I was sleeping :( but Tony got to see it. We opened up all the shades to indicate that it is daytime right now. He was awake for quite a while today. Maybe he will sleep longer now. I spent the night in the rocker recliner holding him, etc. I slept in 20 minute intervals which was not as fun as the hours together I had yesterday. I again went 14 hours without food and only a small amount of water.
Cleaning and drying the clothes is the easy part. It is the taking them from downstairs and putting them away is the hard part. Tony made some great smelling peanut butter oatmeal cookies, but I am avoiding peanuts for the allergen potential. The vibrating chair Adam actually liked sitting in it while Tony rocked him and looked at him. He does not like it when I try getting him to sit in it. Ah, the magic of dad versus mom. He's not happily sleeping fetal position style on dad. That position has to cause his legs to go numb and to slow bowel movements because he is so compacted because as soon as he is straightened out he calms down if riled up out of a dead sleep.
We should take our Christmas family picture today. We will see.
On a positive note, he smiled while awake for the first time today. I was sleeping :( but Tony got to see it. We opened up all the shades to indicate that it is daytime right now. He was awake for quite a while today. Maybe he will sleep longer now. I spent the night in the rocker recliner holding him, etc. I slept in 20 minute intervals which was not as fun as the hours together I had yesterday. I again went 14 hours without food and only a small amount of water.
Cleaning and drying the clothes is the easy part. It is the taking them from downstairs and putting them away is the hard part. Tony made some great smelling peanut butter oatmeal cookies, but I am avoiding peanuts for the allergen potential. The vibrating chair Adam actually liked sitting in it while Tony rocked him and looked at him. He does not like it when I try getting him to sit in it. Ah, the magic of dad versus mom. He's not happily sleeping fetal position style on dad. That position has to cause his legs to go numb and to slow bowel movements because he is so compacted because as soon as he is straightened out he calms down if riled up out of a dead sleep.
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| Adam 1 Month old |
Things That Are True Today
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| 1 Month old Adam |
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| Adam gazing at the Christmas tree lights, he loves it |
- Love fleece sleep sacks for the winter
- I am willing to compromise my "plan" for comfort and sleep
- Pampers are better than Huggies
- When I get sleep my memory works much better
- Stretching is vital to life
- There are many things I do not miss about life before being a mom, that said, I know things will change with time
- I love Christmas lights, I love watching Adam gaze at Christmas lights more than doing so by myself
- I miss quality time with my husband
- This winter is going to fly by, Adam is already 1 month old! I feel like it's been a lifetime in a few weeks
- I prefer sleep over eating
- I want Adam to sleep longer, but I do not want him to grow up so fast
- I cannot wait to take Adam for walks along Portage canal and Lake Superior
- I miss singing Christmas carols walking along the streets of Tucson
- I miss seeing the Christmas lights displays in Tucson
- I miss my family
- My blood pressure is getting better, but is not "normal" for me yet
- Tony is a life saver, he let me sleep for 6 hours today. That said, I had not eaten in 19 hours and the last food I had was cake. I woke up with low blood sugar and was very dehydrated. I could barely stand up and was very dizzy. I will not do that again.
- Most everything can wait.
- Bills will not pay themselves
- I love taking pictures.
- I love taking our posed Christmas picture every year.
- A Medela pump is a God send
- I miss Adam when I sleep
- I just want to squeeze Adam, but I have to wait until he gets bigger to do so
- Adam is so precious
- Being a mom is more than words can express
- I am going to the "office" Christmas party this year (scrw um)
- I am not leaving this house this winter unless I have to, I am content being a home body
- I do not want Adam to get sick with a cold or the flu this winter
- I want to take our family to the Harry Potter theme park someday
- I want to check if Adam is breathing all the time, but I can let him sleep in the other room with a monitor without getting up and checking him all the time
- I love walking along the beach, finding beach glass and skipping stones
- Adam looks so big when I am holding him in my arms, but so Tiny when someone else is holding him
- I have lost 75% of the weight I gained for pregnancy and I know the last bit will be the dickens to get off of me
- My scar is itchy, numb and painful at various times and all at once
- No one should go through parenthood alone
- Fiber is a girl's best friend after a C-section (prune juice & bananas)
- I love my new Canon camera! I highly recommend it
- The Happiest Baby on the Block CD works like a charm! LOVE it
- Adam likes fleece blankets because when you lay them on him they are not cold and do not take time to warm up like cotton
- I cannot remember the last movie I saw in the theatre
- The cover for a car seat is vital and cannot be without one in a cold winter area
- I was so tired 3 nights ago I cried in frustration and exhaustion- every time I would lay down and get the covers on me he would cry for frustration, diaper change or hungry
- There is no excuse for not brushing & flossing, no matter how tired you are, if I can do it, so can you, it takes 3-5 min tops. Anyone can spare that amount of time. Just lay the brush & floss near where you sleep so you can grab it from a laying position. You can brush without toothpaste and it will still be beneficial to your teeth.
- My ribs are hurting and my thoracic outlet and carpal tunnel symptoms are progressively worsening with the posture of feeding Adam, rocking Adam and carrying him around
- Poor guy cries for bowel movements and gas
- His skin is peeling from his scalp and he has baby acne/something toxemia rash on his face, scalp, eye lids, shoulders, stomach, chest, upper arms and ears.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Tony Is Great
Adam was up from 11 PM until 7 AM last night. I got to sleep some today because Tony watched him. Without him I am going to be unable to get a break tomorrow. He is such a life saver, but it makes for little quality time together. It will not be forever. It is hard to enjoy this time with this little guy. Tony is every bit the father I knew he would be. So great to see.
Tony made turkey meatloaf today. This after his great stir fry yesterday. Adam is snuggling with me right now. He will wake for his diaper any minute. Such a warm snuggly bundle. He is getting bigger already. Cannot wait to see how big he is when we go to the doctor's appointment. He is due for a bath so that is next tonight.
I have not finished my Christmas cards yet. Lots to go, so many people to thank. So many thoughtful people. So much love. I am so thankful for so many to be thinking of us. Tony and I are doing a minimal gift Christmas as Adam is our gift this year and the medical bills started rolling in already. I would prefer Adam to any other gift anyway. Anything else I want is really just a better life for our family and to see more of my family.
I want to see the new Sherlock Holmes movie, but that will be unlikely. In due time. It is snowing big soft slow falling flakes out. Like in the movies, all the surfaces we can see are coated. It is beautiful. I will drive out into it in 2 days. Soon enough. Someone plowed us out. Very sweet of whomever that was. Time to take his picture again. Everyday. (Smile)
Tony made turkey meatloaf today. This after his great stir fry yesterday. Adam is snuggling with me right now. He will wake for his diaper any minute. Such a warm snuggly bundle. He is getting bigger already. Cannot wait to see how big he is when we go to the doctor's appointment. He is due for a bath so that is next tonight.
I have not finished my Christmas cards yet. Lots to go, so many people to thank. So many thoughtful people. So much love. I am so thankful for so many to be thinking of us. Tony and I are doing a minimal gift Christmas as Adam is our gift this year and the medical bills started rolling in already. I would prefer Adam to any other gift anyway. Anything else I want is really just a better life for our family and to see more of my family.
I want to see the new Sherlock Holmes movie, but that will be unlikely. In due time. It is snowing big soft slow falling flakes out. Like in the movies, all the surfaces we can see are coated. It is beautiful. I will drive out into it in 2 days. Soon enough. Someone plowed us out. Very sweet of whomever that was. Time to take his picture again. Everyday. (Smile)
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| Mqt NICU website 11-20-11 |
Sunday, December 4, 2011
So Precious
I sat for 2 hours straight with Adam sleeping on me today. Just one of many stints where he slept on me really, but it just makes me take a minute and appreciate how my life has changed in the last month. Adam is so precious and he is everything that I thought he would be. He is so sweet and so wonderful. I think he was the baby we were meant to have. This particular boy was meant to be in our lives after all that we went through to welcome him into our lives. The journey was not exactly anything to do with being "worth it" as I hold every event separate rather than being a culmination. The whole process or journey is ongoing in the roller coaster that is my life. I know it is a continuum and the ultimate ending is the end of my life. I want to spend my life having as much happiness as I have when holding my baby while he is alertly awake just staring around and making oh shapes with his lips.
I am beside myself happy with my baby. I know there will be days that I do not like my baby, like when he's inconsolable and I have had only 2 hours of sleep in 2 days or when he is a teenager and he accidentally stays out past curfew driving to Green Bay with his girlfriend and denting the car without telling me, but I will always love him. He has this purity in his eyes like his dad does. I hope his life takes the lucky path that Tony's does, except better. He can be whatever he wants in life and I will have to accept that.
He already has a mind of his own and I respect that. The wonder in his eyes and his heart. I want to foster his imagination and nurture his successes and confidence. I want to see him through failure and mistakes to pick himself back up and learn from them, move forward. I can only do the best with what I have and I will instill in him that no one is perfect, life is not perfect, but life and love can still be good. Sacrifices for our children, they will never appreciate or understand. They are not debts to be paid in the future by the child. They are something you do expecting nothing in return. Love and respect is earned, not a given.
His cooing, his crying, anything that give him a voice is music to my ears. I have waited a long time to hear anything he has to say. I cannot wait until he can tell stories and say my name. Duty calls right now...
I am beside myself happy with my baby. I know there will be days that I do not like my baby, like when he's inconsolable and I have had only 2 hours of sleep in 2 days or when he is a teenager and he accidentally stays out past curfew driving to Green Bay with his girlfriend and denting the car without telling me, but I will always love him. He has this purity in his eyes like his dad does. I hope his life takes the lucky path that Tony's does, except better. He can be whatever he wants in life and I will have to accept that.
He already has a mind of his own and I respect that. The wonder in his eyes and his heart. I want to foster his imagination and nurture his successes and confidence. I want to see him through failure and mistakes to pick himself back up and learn from them, move forward. I can only do the best with what I have and I will instill in him that no one is perfect, life is not perfect, but life and love can still be good. Sacrifices for our children, they will never appreciate or understand. They are not debts to be paid in the future by the child. They are something you do expecting nothing in return. Love and respect is earned, not a given.
His cooing, his crying, anything that give him a voice is music to my ears. I have waited a long time to hear anything he has to say. I cannot wait until he can tell stories and say my name. Duty calls right now...
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